It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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