i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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