I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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