Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
