Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize