I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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