i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
