My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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