i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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