so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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