Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
