she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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