Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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