So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
