Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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