I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize