I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
