did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
