shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
