Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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