She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
