Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
