no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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