I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Fuck appropriateness.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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