WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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