careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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