You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
try to milk me bitch
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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