I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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