I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
