problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
