I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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