Where did you get a picture of my penis
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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