I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
