I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize