So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
