glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's never too late to be topless.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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