Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
