just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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