well most of my day revolves around power hour
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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