Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize