i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
