apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
