You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
