five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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