i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize