Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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