Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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