Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The uberlube is also flammable
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
