Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
