i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize