Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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