hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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