I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
