this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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