Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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