Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
