hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize